In this issue:
Children's Bill of Rights Approved
Parental conflict during divorce can have a devastating effect on children. To help children survive this conflict,
and to help parents make better decisions about parenting issues during the divorce process, the NJ-AFCC Special Projects Committee has developed a Bill of Rights for Children in Divorce and Dissolution Actions
.
After reviewing several Children's Bill of Rights developed by various advocacy groups, the committee chose
the ABA Children's Bill of Rights as the best starting point, and then modified and expanded it to produce the NJ-AFCC model.
BILL OF RIGHTS
FOR
CHILDREN IN DIVORCE AND DISSOLUTION ACTIONS
1. The right to be treated as important and separate human beings with unique feelings, needs, ideas, and desires, not existing solely to gratify the needs of their parents.
2. The right to not participate in the painful games parents play to hurt each other, or be put in the middle of their battles.
3. The right not to be a go-between or a message courier for their parents.
4. The right to a continuing, relaxed, and secure relationship with both parents.
5. The right to express love and affection for, and receive love and affection from, both parents.
6. The right to know that expressions of love between children and parents will not cause fear, disapproval, or other negative consequences.
7. The right to know that their parents decision to divorce is not their fault.
8. The right to know that it is not their responsibility to keep their parents together.
9. The right to continuing care and guidance from both parents.
10. The right to age appropriate answers to questions about the changing family relationships, without placing blame on either parent.
11. The right to know and appreciate what is good in each parent.
12. The right to be protected from hearing degrading or bad comments about eitherparent.
13. The right to be able to experience regular, consistent, and flexible shared parenting time with both parents, and the right to know the reason for changes in the parenting schedule.
14. The right to have neither parent interfere with, or undermine, parenting time with the other parent.
15. The right to not be forced to choose one parent over the other.
16. The right to express their feelings, concerns, and ideas about the divorce.
17. The right to remain a child without being asked to take on parental responsibilities or to be an adult friend or companion to either parent.
18. The right to the most adequate level of economic support that can be provided from the best efforts of both parents.
19. The right to continue ongoing positive relationships with the people (friends, neighbors, grandparents and extended family) who were an important part of their lives before parental divorce
This Bill of Rights was adopted from "The Children's Bill of Rights" developed by the American Bar
Association, Section of Family Law, and was modified and expanded by the NJ-AFCC Special Projects Committee.
Top of Page
NJ-AFCC Homepage
President's Message
Webster's Third International Dictionary defines "collaborate" as follows: "to labor together," "to work jointly, especially with one or a limited number of others in a project,"
and "to cooperate with or assist, usually with an agent or instrumentality with which one is not immediately connected…"
When I attended my first meeting of the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts in May 1998, I was
struck by the the focus on children, the interdisciplinary nature of this organization, the advocacy of
cutting-edge court reform, and the practice of true alternatives to litigation to resolve high conflict issues such
as parenting time, coparenting, and communication. As I met judges, attorneys, mediators, and mental health
professionals from many different areas, I became more hopeful that, by truly working together, understanding each other's disciplines, perceptions, and best practice standards, we could collaboratively make a difference in
the lives of children and families in high-conflict litigation.
It has been my dream that every family involved in high-conflict litigation will have available alternative dispute
resolution methodologies, such as mediation, therapeutic mediation, team mediation, collaborative law, collaborative divorce, special masters, and custody evaluations. Each family will be encouraged to select that
process which best fits the needs of that family at that time. Families will work out parenting decisions, buy into
them, and continue to work together, in the children's best interests, without resorting to emotionally and economically draining adversarial litigation which may lead only to temporary solutions and eventual
re-litigation. Indeed, the adversarial process often exacerbates the conflict, to the detriment of children and families.
The NJ-AFCC has been approved as a provisional chapter. Our mandate is to develop, on an interdisciplinary
and collaborative basis, procedures, programs, training modules, and legislation consistent with the mission statement of AFCC. THE TIME IS RIGHT IN NEW JERSEY FOR THIS COLLABORATION.
The New Jersey Chapter of AFCC will present its first annual program on April 29, 2000, in cooperation with the
New Jersey Institute for Continuing Legal Education. After the program, there will be a networking luncheon and an NJ-AFCC business meeting, open to all program attendees at no charge. Join AFCC and NJ-AFCC. Become
active on a committee. Attend our April 29, 2000 program at ICLE…
By collaborating, we can make a difference to families in New Jersey.
Ron Silikovitz, Ph.D. President, NJ-AFCC
Top of Page
NJ-AFCC Homepage
Membership Drive Begins
The NJ-AFCC has received provisional approval as a new state chapter of the Association of Family and
Conciliation Courts. Since February 1999, NJ-AFCC has held organizational meetings to develop a Mission Statement and Bylaws, and committees have been formed to begin the work of the newly formed state chapter.
The first order of business for any new chapter is to solicit members who are committed to the AFCC goal of reducing conflict in dissolving families.
NJ-AFCC will work to reduce the damages which accrue to family members involved in custody disputes in New
Jersey; improve the long term prognosis for the mental health of children and adults involved in divorce and
custody disputes in New Jersey; reduce the stress on professionals involved in working with custody dispute
situations in New Jersey; and increase communication and cooperation between the various professional groups working with families involved in divorce and custody disputes in New Jersey.
NJ-AFCC is an interdisciplinary professional association dedicated to the constructive resolution of family
disputes. Membership is open to all professionals who work with families in conflict.
This includes judges, lawyers, mediators, psychologists, social workers, other mental health professionals, child
custody evaluators, parent educators, court administrators, researchers, and academics.
Benefits of NJ-AFCC Membership:
1.Opportunities to improve the communication among Judges, Attorneys, Psychologists, Mental Health
Workers, Mediators, and court personnel about divorce, child custody conflicts, and the welfare of families going through the divorce process in New Jersey.
2.Help to develop alternate dispute resolution approaches in New Jersey regarding custody/parenting time.
3.Learn more about custody issues, and new approaches to conflict resolution, and the effects of the divorce litigation process on families.
4.Help to develop programs in New Jersey that will reduce the stress of custody proceedings on children and their parents.
5.Bring successful ideas/alternative models from other states and countries regarding resolution of custody cases into New Jersey.
6.Participate in developing the legislative agenda necessary to gain implementation of the above goals in New Jersey.
Cost of Membership
AFCC dues are $135. per year, and NJ-AFCC Chapter dues are $30. You may join the NJ State Chapter this year without joining AFCC, and join AFCC next year.
AFCC membership includes the AFCC journal, and member rates for conferences.
The most important membership benefit of NJ-AFCC is the role you will play in reducing conflict for families going through divorce, or other crises, that bring them into contact with the legal system.
Please contact the Membership Committee Chair for information:
Lisa Tomasini, Ph.D.
Gerson Hagovsky Antonelli & Altman, LLC
22 Old Short Hills Road, Suite 216
Livingston, NJ 07039
(973) 994-3146
lisatomasini@netscape.net
Top of Page
NJ-AFCC Homepage
Mission Statement for NJ-AFCC
To facilitate inter-professional communication and collaboration in order to reveal, understand, and educate
about the dynamics of the relationships that comprise the legal process by which families are reorganized in
divorce, crisis and conflict, such that divorce becomes an opportunity for personal growth, closure, and healing, and maximizes the best interests of children.
Top of Page
NJ-AFCC Homepage
For more information contact:
The NJ Law Center (ICLE) 1 Constitution Square New Brunswick, NJ 08901 Phone: (732) 214-8500 Fax: (732) 249-0383 Email:
customerservice@njicle.com
Top of Page
NJ-AFCC Homepage
|