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Volume 1, No. 1 January 2000 |
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In this issue:
Children's Bill of Rights ApprovedParental conflict during divorce can have a devastating effect on children. To help children survive this conflict, and to help parents make better decisions about parenting issues during the divorce process, the NJ-AFCC Special Projects Committee has developed a Bill of Rights for Children in Divorce and Dissolution Actions . After reviewing several Children's Bill of Rights developed by various advocacy groups, the committee chose the ABA Children's Bill of Rights as the best starting point, and then modified and expanded it to produce the NJ-AFCC model. BILL OF RIGHTS FOR CHILDREN IN DIVORCE AND DISSOLUTION ACTIONS 1. The right to be treated as important and separate human beings with unique feelings, needs, ideas, and desires, not existing solely to gratify the needs of their parents. 2. The right to not participate in the painful games parents play to hurt each other, or be put in the middle of their battles. 3. The right not to be a go-between or a message courier for their parents. 4. The right to a continuing, relaxed, and secure relationship with both parents. 5. The right to express love and affection for, and receive love and affection from, both parents. 6. The right to know that expressions of love between children and parents will not cause fear, disapproval, or other negative consequences. 7. The right to know that their parents decision to divorce is not their fault. 8. The right to know that it is not their responsibility to keep their parents together. 9. The right to continuing care and guidance from both parents. 10. The right to age appropriate answers to questions about the changing family relationships, without placing blame on either parent. 11. The right to know and appreciate what is good in each parent. 12. The right to be protected from hearing degrading or bad comments about eitherparent. 13. The right to be able to experience regular, consistent, and flexible shared parenting time with both parents, and the right to know the reason for changes in the parenting schedule. 14. The right to have neither parent interfere with, or undermine, parenting time with the other parent. 15. The right to not be forced to choose one parent over the other. 16. The right to express their feelings, concerns, and ideas about the divorce. 17. The right to remain a child without being asked to take on parental responsibilities or to be an adult friend or companion to either parent. 18. The right to the most adequate level of economic support that can be provided from the best efforts of both parents. 19. The right to continue ongoing positive relationships with the people (friends, neighbors, grandparents and extended family) who were an important part of their lives before parental divorce This Bill of Rights was adopted from "The Children's Bill of Rights" developed by the American Bar Association, Section of Family Law, and was modified and expanded by the NJ-AFCC Special Projects Committee (Jeannette DeVaris, Sam Forlenza, Donald Franklin, Sandra Saul, Phil Sobel, Frank Weiss.) Top of Page Newsletter Contents NJ-AFCC Homepage
President's MessageWebster's Third International Dictionary defines "collaborate" as follows: "to labor together," "to work jointly, especially with one or a limited number of others in a project," and "to cooperate with or assist, usually with an agent or instrumentality with which one is not immediately connected…" When I attended my first meeting of the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts in May 1998, I was struck by the the focus on children, the interdisciplinary nature of this organization, the advocacy of cutting-edge court reform, and the practice of true alternatives to litigation to resolve high conflict issues such as parenting time, coparenting, and communication. As I met judges, attorneys, mediators, and mental health professionals from many different areas, I became more hopeful that, by truly working together, understanding each other's disciplines, perceptions, and best practice standards, we could collaboratively make a difference in the lives of children and families in high-conflict litigation. It has been my dream that every family involved in high-conflict litigation will have available alternative dispute resolution methodologies, such as mediation, therapeutic mediation, team mediation, collaborative law, collaborative divorce, special masters, and custody evaluations. Each family will be encouraged to select that process which best fits the needs of that family at that time. Families will work out parenting decisions, buy into them, and continue to work together, in the children's best interests, without resorting to emotionally and economically draining adversarial litigation which may lead only to temporary solutions and eventual re-litigation. Indeed, the adversarial process often exacerbates the conflict, to the detriment of children and families. The NJ-AFCC has been approved as a provisional chapter. Our mandate is to develop, on an interdisciplinary and collaborative basis, procedures, programs, training modules, and legislation consistent with the mission statement of AFCC. THE TIME IS RIGHT IN NEW JERSEY FOR THIS COLLABORATION. The New Jersey Chapter of AFCC will present its first annual program on April 29, 2000, in cooperation with the New Jersey Institute for Continuing Legal Education. After the program, there will be a networking luncheon and an NJ-AFCC business meeting, open to all program attendees at no charge. Join AFCC and NJ-AFCC. Become active on a committee. Attend our April 29, 2000 program at ICLE… By collaborating, we can make a difference to families in New Jersey. Ron Silikovitz, Ph.D. Top of Page Newsletter Contents NJ-AFCC Homepage
Membership Drive BeginsThe NJ-AFCC has received provisional approval as a new state chapter of the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts. Since February 1999, NJ-AFCC has held organizational meetings to develop a Mission Statement and Bylaws, and committees have been formed to begin the work of the newly formed state chapter. The first order of business for any new chapter is to solicit members who are committed to the AFCC goal of reducing conflict in dissolving families. NJ-AFCC will work to reduce the damages which accrue to family members involved in custody disputes in New Jersey; improve the long term prognosis for the mental health of children and adults involved in divorce and custody disputes in New Jersey; reduce the stress on professionals involved in working with custody dispute situations in New Jersey; and increase communication and cooperation between the various professional groups working with families involved in divorce and custody disputes in New Jersey. NJ-AFCC is an interdisciplinary professional association dedicated to the constructive resolution of family disputes. Membership is open to all professionals who work with families in conflict. This includes judges, lawyers, mediators, psychologists, social workers, other mental health professionals, child custody evaluators, parent educators, court administrators, researchers, and academics. Benefits of NJ-AFCC Membership: 1.Opportunities to improve the communication among Judges, Attorneys, Psychologists, Mental Health Workers, Mediators, and court personnel about divorce, child custody conflicts, and the welfare of families going through the divorce process in New Jersey. 2.Help to develop alternate dispute resolution approaches in New Jersey regarding custody/parenting time. 3.Learn more about custody issues, and new approaches to conflict resolution, and the effects of the divorce litigation process on families. 4.Help to develop programs in New Jersey that will reduce the stress of custody proceedings on children and their parents. 5.Bring successful ideas/alternative models from other states and countries regarding resolution of custody cases into New Jersey. 6.Participate in developing the legislative agenda necessary to gain implementation of the above goals in New Jersey. Cost of Membership AFCC dues are $135. per year, and NJ-AFCC Chapter dues are $30. You may join the NJ State Chapter this year without joining AFCC, and join AFCC next year. AFCC membership includes the AFCC journal, and member rates for conferences. The most important membership benefit of NJ-AFCC is the role you will play in reducing conflict for families going through divorce, or other crises, that bring them into contact with the legal system. Please contact the Membership Committee Chair for information: Sharon Ryan Montgomery, Psy.D. Top of Page Newsletter Contents NJ-AFCC Homepage
Mission Statement for NJ-AFCCTo facilitate inter-professional communication and collaboration in order to reveal, understand, and educate about the dynamics of the relationships that comprise the legal process by which families are reorganized in divorce, crisis and conflict, such that divorce becomes an opportunity for personal growth, closure, and healing, and maximizes the best interests of children. Top of Page Newsletter Contents NJ-AFCC Homepage
NJ-AFCC Spring 2000 ConferenceContaining Conflict in Family Law Cases - NJ-AFCC 2000 April 29, 2000 - 9:00AM - 12:00 noon New Jersey Law Center, Ryders Lane, New Brunswick, NJ (Exit off Route 1) Family law practice can often be difficult and draining! There is much about human behavior and conflict that is simply not taught in law school and attorneys often learn difficult lessons from experience. At this unique program, you can benefit from the expertise and experience of attorneys, psychologists and court personnel as they share innovative strategies for handling difficult cases. They will also suggest how our current legal system might be changed in order to reduce and contain conflict. You'll hear about some non-traditional and innovative methods such as collaborative law and child protection mediation that are beginning to be used successfully to minimize conflict in matrimonial matters, child abuse and neglect. This program is being presented by the New Jersey Chapter of the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (NJ-AFCC ), a non-profit international interdisciplinary organization, open to individuals who practice or work in family courts, including judges, attorneys, mediators, psychologists, family therapists, social workers, and court personnel. NJ-AFCC is dedicated to exploring alternative and compassionate means of resolving family law disputes. You can obtain more information about this organization at the program or by visiting their website at www.psychologyinfo.com/NJ-AFCC. FOUR TIMELY DISCUSSIONS BASED ON THE EXPERIENCE OF SEASONED PRACTITIONERS 1. An attorney and a psychologist recount what it has been like to cope with the frustration of handling perplexing family law cases, including the difficulties of working with other professionals, and with the different realities of the legal system. 2. What we can learn from the Appellate Division review case PT vs. MS (325 N.J. Super 193) a high conflict custody dispute involving sexual abuse issues. You'll gain insight into rule and role disputes as seen from the perspective of the Appellate Division. 3. The Collaborative Law Model - Carefully designed to prevent the damage caused by difficult family law cases, this model can be used by legal and mental health professionals to avoid costly court appearances, provide conflict resolution skills to clients, and decrease the bitterness of many disputes. 4. Child Protection Mediation - An alternative dispute resolution model now being used in several counties to expedite decision making in child welfare matters. With an emphasis on developing new skills, this model may have a positive impact on the practices of both legal and mental health professionals. Moderator: HON. ROBERT W. PAGE, JSC Family Part (Camden) Program Coordinators: Speakers include: Education Credits Matrimonial Law Certification: 2.75 mediation/psychology credits pending PA CLE: 2.5 substantive credits pending ($12 fee separate check payable to ICLE must be submitted at the end of the program) NY CLE: 3.0 professional practice credits Door Registration Fee is $139. For more information contact: The NJ Law Center (ICLE) Complete NJ-AFCC Spring 2000 Conference Details |
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